Ooo! Scary! The MARK of the beast. ha.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MY REIGN IS UPON US! KNEEL BEFORE ME, PUNY HUMANS! Yes, my birthday carries the mark of the beast. So does that of many millions of others. Still, people recoil in fear when they see my I.D (and not from the photo . . . I think.) On this day of the beast, it is appropriate to address some blasphemy about horror films from some puny human, Brittney. Most of them, let's be honest, are waste of celluloid. No, really, let’s be honest. Waste? Where’s Mr. Pink when you need him? Back me up, cuzzin! (actually he’s probably working like I should be) What about movies like: The 70’s era post Vietnam, post Watergate national paranoia zeitgeist-ers like: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (orig) NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD DAWN OF THE DEAD (orig) THE SHINING THE EXORCIST ROSEMARY’S BABY DEAD ZONE (and SCANNERS and all the other Cronenbergs from this period) ALIEN THE THING (a remake that was as good as the original) THE OMEN WICKER MAN INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS The 80’s brought Regan era hedonism backlash slasher flicks: FRIDAY the 13th HALLOWEEN NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET APRIL FOOLS DAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME THE STEPFATHER HELLRAISER The Mavericks: EVIL DEAD SUSPIRIA PHENOMENA PHANTASM CANDYMAN SERPENT AND THE RAINBOW Camp Camp: AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON SCREAM EVIL DEAD 2 NIGHT OF THE CREEPS RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM FRIGHT NIGHT THE GREEN SLIME Meta: DRACULA: PAGES FROM A VIRGIN’S DIARY To the East, Blackwards RINGU UZUMAKI AUDITION GOZU KWAIDAN CURE MEMENTO MORI (Korea) VITAL EVIL DEAD TRAP TETSUO TAIL OF TWO SISTERS GOJIRA THE UNTOLD STORY The classics: Do I really need to list them? In this new century, more than ever the Wu-Tang’s C.R.E.A.M. doctrine applies to Hollywoof. So, we get remakes and sequels and the remakes get their own sequels. Even the most inventive, like Wong’s FINAL DESTINATION or Roth’s HOSTEL are based on tried and true formulas slightly updated to showcase the “talents” of the UPN actors that populate horror flicks. Victor Salva, turning his personal demons into decent films, could continue to create interesting work.